Falling into Depression
Photo by Cristian Palmer on Unsplash
Mental pain is less dramatic than physical pain, but it is more common and also more hard to bear. The frequent attempt to conceal mental pain increases the burden: it is easier to say “My tooth is aching” than to say “My heart is broken.”- C.S. Lewis
We fear those emotions that we do not like to feel. As if by feeling them they will consume, swallow and change us.
It’s the dark that we fear. The being caught in quicksand with no life rope. That if we allow these feelings, depression, sadness, grief, pain, hurt in they will never leave.
Afraid that if we lean in. We are gone. We are transformed. Is this so bad? To lean in? To fall? To sit in the space that is so desperately calling us.
To be uncomfortable. To listen to the emotion. What story does it sing? What lesson is dying to be learned? What piece or part of us being neglected. Because we are afraid to feel, lose control and get lost.
We control our emotions because in a world that feels out of control is feels good to have control over something. But really we become slaves to our emotions. Hiding them. Suppressing them. Denying them.
The melancholy blanket of depression can suffocate and smoother. It can also be warm and inviting. it is often like an old friend, one we are not very excited to see, and yet still take comfort in their presence.
We kick, we scream, we try and claw our way out. Forgetting that each emotion is a gift. A present. A reminder.
We forget that they do leave. Yes, for some they outstay their visit. For some professional interventions such as medication and therapy are needed. I believe that having a trusted profession to explore your feelings is essential for optimal mental health. To have someone crawl into the pit, the hole, the dark and to sit, listen and be. In that emotion. In that space. In that place. To have a witness. The light within the dark. We all have the light, we often forget that we have the tools needed to get out of the dark. That’s what happens when we are consumed with those emotions we neglect and fear to feel.
“Why do you want to shut out of your life any uneasiness, any misery, any depression, since after all you don't know what work these conditions are doing inside you? Why do you want to persecute yourself with the question of where all this is coming from and where it is going? Since you know, after all, that you are in the midst of transitions and you wished for nothing so much as to change. If there is anything unhealthy in your reactions, just bear in mind that sickness is the means by which an organism frees itself from what is alien; so one must simply help it to be sick, to have its whole sickness and to break out with it, since that is the way it gets better.”- Rainer Maria Rilke
What to do if you are depressed
Be honest with yourself, meet yourself where you are
call a friend
ask for support
start or continue therapy
exercise (hard to do but it helps your brain feel better)
Set tiny realistic goals and celebrate accomplishing them (brushing your teeth, getting out of bed, going to work)
Get outside into nature
create art
Write
Write bad poetry
Create a happy play list of songs that make you happy and listen to it