How to cope with the death of your beloved animal companion

Your heart is broken as you struggle to adjust to living without

Losing a pet is unbearable. The grief is palatable and cuts. You are disconnected from yourself and the world. Floating above ground, trying to connect and unable to. You have shifted to autopilot, and try as you might, you just cannot seem to get back into the driver's seat.

Grief is inescapable, you are not alone, and there are ways to soften the rough edges.

Our pets love us unconditionally. They are witnesses to our life, to our true selves without judgment. They travel with us through our ups and downs, our joys and sorrows. They know our secrets and are a container for our emotions. Providing comfort, ease, at times, comedic relief, most of all, they remind us that we are not alone.

I know this loss in deep and profound ways. As a human, I know this loss, I have sat with it more than once. As a counselor, I journey on this road of loss with the bereaved. As a thanatologist (someone who studies all things death, dying, and grief-related), I truly understand the experience of bereavement.

Our pets are our daily companions. They are consistent, nonjudgemental, and love us with no bounds.

When we lose a pet, our entire world is turned upside down. We are lost, trying to regain a sense of normalcy.

When we lose a pet we are reminded that we deserve and can give unconditional love. That we are worthy with no requirements. That we are capable of giving and receiving the purest of love. That we are reliant and strong, even when we don’t feel like it.

Ways to work with your grief

Be gentle with yourself, you are grieving, and grief takes time.

Do not compare your grief journey to others. We all grieve differently.

Give yourself time and space, you are feeling all the feels, they can be overwhelming, disruptive, prickly, and numbing ( just to name a few). You are in a sea of emotions.

To honor your pet

Create a pet shrine, altar, or memorial
This can be digital, physical, or both. This is a space to honor your love. You can fill this space with pictures, collars, dishes, favorite toys, blankets, or whatever speaks to you.
Create a pet journal, scrapbook, or album
This, too, can be digital, physical, or both. Document your and your pet's relationship. Write letters or journal to your pet.
Write a letter to your beloved and put it in a helium balloon.
If your beloved is cremated, you can have the ashes turned into jewelry, glass beads, suncatchers and more. You can have a windchime made in honor of your loved one. You can even name a star after them.
If you are able (and you can check with your vet) have a paw print and nose print made. You can even have these cast into foam or clay.
Otherways, people have commemorated their beloved pets: t-shirts, taxidermy, gardens, and tattoos.
Have a ceremony and/or a celebration of life.