Committing to you

Photo by Steve Halama on Unsplash

Self-care is a checklist. Self-care is something we do because we are told to do it. It usually comes from someone else. Yes, we do it because we believe in its benefits. However, it becomes something we feel obligated to do. Eat healthy, exercise, meditate. Our therapists, friends, family, society tell us we need to do things for ourselves. So we take yoga classes. Go on hikes. Paint. However, we lose the intention behind self-care. The point of self-care is to tend to our souls. It is soul care. Self-care is necessary, however, it is more powerful when it becomes soul care.  We end up pushing ourselves to do our self-care, instead of leaning in and asking ourselves, what do I need today? In this moment? Right now? Perhaps your self-care for the day was yoga, but you are exhausted, your soul screams “I need a nap, I need quiet time.” And instead you push through, go to yoga. Feeling better but still a bit off. Soul care is the art of listening to you, your inner wisdom, your soul. 

Self-care has become just another thing to check off our to-do lists. Because we have lost the soul in self-care. We have forgotten the purpose of why we participate in acts of self-love. We are learning to love ourselves. If we are not at our best, we cannot do our best work, support those we love or thrive. We sell ourselves and the world short when we neglect to tend to ourselves. 

Self-love in soul care is daily rituals with an intention to love you. Fill you. Tend to you. Care for you. Honor you. Nurture you. 

Photo by Hanna Postova on Unsplash

Soul care doesn’t have to be extravagant or time-consuming. It starts by listening to your inner voice and checking in with yourself. Don’t judge what comes up. Approach your self-care with curiosity and openness.  Allowing whatever needs to surface, be heard, released, tended to arise. Honor what emerges. What do you need? What can you do? What act of love can you do for you?

Check in with yourself. What does your body need? Your mind? Your emotions? Your soul? How can you honor yourself today? What can you do to say, I love you, to you today?

Each day will be different. You will have your gotos. A hot salt bath with herbs, a walk in nature, yoga, dance, music, conversations with loved ones, cuddles with your pet, creating art, a nap, watching something funny, meditation, a hug, cooking a delicious meal. The things that you know fill, heal and complete you. Other days you might find yourself on a new adventure, exploring and discovering. 

Soul care also involves creating boundaries. As healers, most of us love helping people, that is why we do what we do. As healers, people sense that we have magic to share. So often we share our gifts when we are drained, depleted, tired and need time to replenish, heal and recuperate. 

We fall prey to others judgments that our soul care is selfish. That we don’t care. And we give more than we have, leaving ourselves on empty. Soul care is not selfish, it’s vital. You have to put yourself first, how else are you going to help others? When we give from half or empty we do ourselves and others a disserve. Being selfish is saying I love myself enough to say no and in saying no I am teaching you, that you are important enough to say no, to tend to you, to love yourself. Boundaries are a necessity. Boundaries say I love you and I love me.

Soul care is the art of listening to inner wisdom. Checking in with yourself, mind, body, emotions, and soul. And honoring what you hear.