Healing the Empath Heart after 2020

2020 has rocked your world, crushed your heart and made you questioned who you are.

In 2020, your foundation was cracked, shaken and perhaps even destroyed Your daily routines, annihilated. Your structure, gone. All the things you counted on to be reliable and stable shifted. Your empathic heart felt like it was put in a blender on pulverize. You are still feeling the effects and a desire to feel grounded. A need to catch your breath. Longing for a moment of peace.

Your empathic heart can and will heal.

2020 was a hard year. Full of one chaotic earth-shattering event after the other. You were forced to adjust, pivot, adapt. And you did. 2020 felt like a neverending rollercoaster ride. Worse yet, it felt like being lost at sea in a tiny boat that continually was capsized and took on endless amounts of water.

The world was berated with a series of collective traumatic events.

The COVID pandemic forced you to re-evaluate your relationship to your job, work, career goals and identity as an employee. Maybe you are one of the millions who now works remotely, losing your work community. Yes, they are still there, yet you no longer have the face to face interactions. The rituals of getting up, getting ready and commuting. Perhaps you are one of millions who lost your job. Losing your sense of purpose and identity with it. As you struggled to fill your time, find your passion and reinvent yourself while trying to find a job and not stress about paying the bills and how to eat. Maybe you are one of the millions who kept your job. Still having a sense of foundation and the feelings of guilt and jealousy, as you are still working and yet desire to have more time like others.

Your empathic heart wept, watching the effects of COVID and felt powerless.

The pandemic also caused polarities between families and friends. People became divided on if the pandemic was real. If masks were important. How to safely isolate. These differences of opinions created further wedges in family support groups and friends.

Your empathic heart raced with anxiety and unease. Carrying everyone’s fear.

The pandemic claimed loved ones. Not only grieving changes in lifestyle. Stressing over finances. The grief of loss of life also came to the party.

As an empath your heartfelt a billion pounds heavier, as you felt like you were drowning in a sea of sorrow.

The police once again drew attention for their abuse of power, racial profiling and failure to protect. The injustice is raw and palatable. Your empathic heart wants to heal all the hurting hearts.

Your empathic heart felt small and crushed under this weight.

The call for racial justice even further created divides between friends and families who were already distant and fragmented. The inability to validate or understand opposing viewpoints became heated and personal. You watched as people who you love could not see how their beliefs harmed others.

As the empath, you felt this slice open your heart.

The nation's government failed its people and became more of a circus than a wise protector. Your empathic heart now feels like it could explode. Too much to carry and hold.

Your heart is buried in everyone else’s trash, luggage and stuff.

In the end, your empath heart has been thrown in a blender with a toddler playing with the various settings.

As soon as you think the toddler has become bored and gone away, they start pressing buttons again: chop, puree, liquefy.

And with all of this you wonder why you are depressed, why you are anxious, why it seems like you can function less and less. 2020 and all it brings, creates anxiety and depression. The isolation deepens these feelings. Because before we had the world to help us cope (people and places). Now, we are caught in our own isolated spaces, our homes and our minds.

This year, has been a rough year for all the people who I was honored to serve, either via video chat or on the phone. As we were no longer able to meet in person, we have had to adjust to a new norm of therapy. The impacts of 2020 have been profound. The empaths who I serve feel this burden has become even greater. They felt as if they were drowning, unable to catch their breath, struggling to stay afloat. Moreover, their desire to create change has grown even stronger. This has become our focus, to find their light, what they can focus on that brings joy, peace, contentment and pleasure even in the worst of storms. So that ultimately, they can create change.

For now, you are out of the storm, catching your breath on the beach, evaluating your boat and watching the sky for the next storm. It’s time to pause. It is time to heal your wounds so you can share your gifts with the world. So you can be the best you and live your best life. You have learned marvelous lessons about yourself and now it is time to apply what you have learned.

The tidal wave of 2020 has knocked you over and took the breath out of you. Not once but several times. How do you tend to yourself when you know another storm is on it’s way? How do you prepare for the next roller coaster? How do you get better at adjusting?

Despite what is happening all around you. You can still be the best you and not take on everyone else’s stuff. You have a world to make better, this is your time.

2020 has been like a roller coaster ride you can’t get off of. Worse yet, it has felt like a never-ending storm where the weather increasing gets worse with no end in sight. This has forced you to adapt. Adjust. And just when you get your footing, you lose it again. Each time you get up, something else knocks you down again. You are starting to wonder why you even get up. Why? Because the world needs you! You are valuable and important! Even if you don’t see it now, you are.

It’s time to take your heart out of the blender.

As an empath, in a world on fire, it is crucial to have boundaries. Boundaries are what keeps your heart intact at not that the mercy of a toddler playing with a blender.

Limit your media intake.

It can be hard to limit our time on social media and what we take in. As in empath, it is vital that you limit what you are taking in. Everything you take in is absorbed by your heart.

Before you tune into the news, jump online, check your social media, ask yourself, “What is my intention? Why am I checking….?”
Give yourself a time limit.

Say no.

You can say no. In fact, it is necessary.

Ask yourself, “why am I saying yes?” “Am I am a place to say yes?”
Check your intentions. It is not your place to carry other people’s stuff. You do them a disservice when you hold someone else’s stuff, you rob them of the opportunity to learn how to do something for themselves.

Know your triggers.

What boils your blood?
What topics blind you and cause you to react? When you know what you are passionate about, you have the ability to remind yourself to pause and not to react. When we react we can enter into hostile territory. We give away our voice and our power because we can become blind and lead by our cause. This does not help your cause, as often we find ourselves fighting with others and taking the argument personally.
As an empath, it is so easy for you to own other people’s stuff and take on their pain as if it yours. When you know your passions, and can stay open and curious to others, you retain your voice and power. This is hard to do. As an empath, you feel deeply and as a person, we can become reactive and hurt by others’ opinions and actions.

Honor your light.

What in life brings a smile to your face?
What do you enjoy doing?
What brings you joy?
What allows you to breathe a sigh of relief?
We tend to think big here. Start small. What makes you laugh? How can you find delight in each moment? How can you see the beauty in each day? How can you honor yourself every day?

Build your clan.

Find your people.
Reach and connect to people who show you respect and unconditional love. Those people who can set boundaries. Who even if they disagree with you, do not make it personal.

Even if you are still caught in the storm, it doesn’t have to devastate you. You are strong. You are powerful. You are able. You have the ability to make the best out of any situation. That doesn’t mean it doesn’t suck. It doesn’t hurt. It isn’t scary. Because it is. You can acknowledge this and still find your way, your light, and be a badass.