Emotional Hangovers
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Emotional hangovers happen after we process, expel, release, and feel intense, usually overpowering emotions.
Emotional hangovers can happen when we are stressed, anxious, depressed, burnt out, suffering from compassion fatigue, overwhelmed, grieving, feeling trapped and stuck in life. Empaths and starseeds can suffer from emotional hangovers because they are processing, holding and experiencing others’ emotions (including animals, nature, and societies, such as when a natural disaster happens) Usually, they happen when we are experiencing more than one emotion and situation. For instance, you don’t sleep well, were late for work, you have a horrible day at work, you come home and get into a fight with your partner. Your anxiety is through the roof. You are fighting off depression. Too many emotions needing attention. As you work with them, it drains you.
We can also experience emotional hangovers from emotional labor. Emotional labor is when we have to manage our own emotions for a job or someone else.
Emotional labor, as I define it, is emotion management and life management combined. It is the unpaid, invisible work we do to keep those around us comfortable and happy.
Gemma Hartley
Emotional labor can look like a customer is yelling at you because they are unhappy, and you have to smile and agree with what they say. Or the waitress who gets her butt slapped by a customer and has to smile and not say anything. Parents often experience emotional labor while regulating their children’s emotions, hiding their true emotions. For example, a baby is crying and the mother is frustrated and upset and still tries to soothe the baby. Emotional labor is when we mute, numb, hid, pretend away our own emotions for someone else.
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Signs and symptoms:
Tired
Exhausted
Unable to process or hold emotions
Unable to think and feeling brain dead
Drained, if you were a battery you would be at less than 1%
Depleted
Stuck on a runaway train that is going to crash
Like you got hit by a train
Like you haven't slept in days
Numb
As if your life force has been taken
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What to do:
Just like with a real hangover it’s time to slow down
Be gentle with yourself, this isn’t the time to tackle your goals and ambitions. This is time to stop, reset and turn inward.
Honor your needs
What do you need?
A bath
Yoga or exercise
Journal
Art (that you create or view)
Nature
A hug
Laughter
Conversation
A good book
A show you enjoy watching
A nap
Good food
A break
A vacation
a ritual
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Communicate what you need and your feelings
This is a time to set clear boundaries. Remember boundaries come from love.
Setting a boundary does not mean you do not love someone. Just the opposite it shows you do love them.
Setting a boundary is not mean or cruel. It is you taking care of you. It is you letting others know you care for yourself and you are not a doormat.
Setting a boundary helps others learn to care for themselves.
Setting a boundary is you taking care of you so you can care for others. If you can’t care for you, how are you going to help those you love?
Setting a boundary is not selfish. It’s self love.
Boundaries let people know where they stand with you. When setting a boundary, say what you mean. Be direct. Be loving. Be honest with yourself. Don’t say yes, when you want to say no. You don’t owe people an explanation for why you say no. When you set boundaries you are teaching others to care for themselves.
This is your time to heal and tend to yourself. Once you are back to feeling like yourself, you can be there for others. Right now, this is your time. We can’t be of services to others if we don’t tend to ourselves first. It’s just like when the flight attendant says to put your oxygen mask on first before someone else’s. If you don’t while everyone else has their oxygen you are gasping for air in the middle of the aisle.
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