For the love of the Sith
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Spoiler alert this article explores the tragedies of Kylo Ren (Ben Solo) and Darth Vader (Anakin Skywalker).
Kylo Ren (Ben Solo) and Darth Vader (Anakin Skywalker) were tortured souls. Grief, trauma, depression, and anxiety plagued them.
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Darth Vader (Anakin Skywalker)
Anakin Skywalker had a life of trauma. Born into slavery. He was then adopted by the Jedi to be trained. He was considered the chosen one, what a huge burden to carry, to be the one to restore balance to the force. As a young adult, he fought in numerous battles (witnessing death and having to take the lives of others). Grief stricken with the death of his mother and guilt that fed anxiety that he could have prevented it. Grief and guilt at the anger that consumed him when she died and the people he slays because of it. All of this fueled his depression, his anxiety. Being a Jedi and wanting to save the world, feeling the weight of the world’s problems and wanting to be a hero and at the same time wanting to run away. He had a great deal of responsibility and this too feeds his anxiety and depression. He suffered from unresolved grief and untreated trauma. All this created the perfect storm. Unable to ease his fears fueled by anxiety. Unable to stop the pain from trauma and grief. He turned to the dark side, which promised relief. He reminds us we can only take too much before we break. Before our fears swallow us and we succumb.
He was an empath. A starseed. Someone who felt the emotions of everyone. Someone who wanted to heal the world. And this too feeds his anxiety and depression. Ill-equipped to deal with many conflicting emotions, the desire to make everyone happy, to save the world, the nightmares from trauma, the anxiety that consumed him, the depression that weighed him down. He surrendered to the dark side. His light is unable to fight his battles, unaware, misguided and unheard. So often with starseeds and empaths we forget our light and we look to others to guide us.
Anakin dies and becomes Darth Vader. We all have parts and pieces of us. Often times they are in conflict. We choose the path of least resistance, the path of least pain. This does not stop the pain, it just buries it deeper and it still affects us. He wanted to stop his pain, the pain of the world and in doing so lost himself. Becoming someone else, not affected by everything that hurts.
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Kylo Ren (Ben Solo)
Ben Solo a celebrity child. Grandson of Anakin Skywalker/ Darth Vader. A child prodigy. Anxiety to perform, to live up to expectations, to be as great or greater than your family. A child with the weight of the world on his shoulders. War hero parents, shoes to fill. A family shadow of his grandfather and his crimes became guilt, fear, and shame. Like his grandfather, people saw his potential and wanted to guide it, help it grow, doing what they thought was best. He was taken from his mother. A father who traveled a great deal often absent. He felt abandoned. Excited to train with his uncle, someone he trusts and looks up to. An honor to become a Jedi, now a family legacy. Trauma dealt by is his uncle who tries to kill him, and in his defense losing control he kills everyone (much like his grandfather with the death of his mother). Ben isis lost and with nowhere to go he turns to someone he trusts. Someone with the promise to end the pain.
Ben too feels conflict. Conflict to live up to family expectations, expectations of others. He feels the conflict of wanting to please others. He relates to his grandfather, who felt so much pain and felt powerless to stop it. And like his grandfather, someone offers relief, provides a safe place to be seen as who they are. This provides comfort and blindness to their ill intentions.
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The Dark Side of the Force
The dark side of the force appealed them, offered them relief from the pain. The way of the Jedi, taught the letting go of feelings, some would say the repression of feelings. Jedi are taught to sacrifice themselves for the greater good. They start training at a very early age. Easier to start with a clean slate than one that has already been impacted by life.
We relate to Anakin Skywalker and Ben Solo because they have experienced life, they are not untouched by the tragedy and beauty that life brings.
We all have dark forces that we battle. That we try to push out with the light. We forget that we need light to illuminate the dark. That there is a balance between the two. We cannot just be light or dark. They are a balance.
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How to Find Balance
There is power when we acknowledge our darkness. When we see it. Listen to it. Sit with it. This isn’t succumbing or being consumed by it. This fear only feeds our desire to run away from it. Remember fear feeds the dark. And yes the dark is terrifying. The notion that we can lose ourselves to what we fear the most, what we run from. Our grief, our traumas, our depression, our anxiety. We forget that if we stop and sit with it. We learn from it. We start to heal what we fear most. Our darkness does not have to rule us. It just needs to be honored. Given a seat on the council. Be heard. It has the power to direct our light to where it is needed most.
Remember:
Met yourself where you are.
Create rituals that support your wellbeing and mental health. Create a list and save it to your phone, picking something you can do. A bath, a walk, calling a friend, watching a favorite show. Reading. When we are trapped in darkness we forget what works, having a list brings light to the dark.
Know that some days are successful because you got out of bed, dressed, brush your hair and teeth. Celebrate this. You are meeting yourself where you are and doing your best to tend to yourself.
Start therapy or counseling. Find a guide to help you navigate your darkness.
Be gentle with yourself, You are a being having a human experience. It isn’t always easy.